Coaching Supervision: The Return to Self
There are paths that change everything. Yellowstone was one of them. Not just for the park, but for the entire ecosystem.
When wolves were reintroduced in 1995, no one imagined how profoundly the landscape would transform. They didn’t just bring balance to the food chain. They changed the behavior of deer, regenerated vegetation, strengthened riverbanks. They became a catalyst for life. Through their presence, they reactivated the entire system.
Supervision in coaching is much the same. It’s not an optional add-on to coach training. It’s an integral part of a conscious professional journey. A living framework that supports reflection, depth, and inner balance. A space where returning to oneself generates clarity, vitality, discernment. Where the presence of the supervisor acts like that of a pack leader - not through force, but through coherence. Not through authority, but through presence and clarity.
Three Directions. One Living Space.
Every supervision session can open one or more of these three essential dimensions:
· Normative – supports professional integrity: What is ethical, right, and aligned with best practices?
· Formative – promotes learning and awareness of patterns: What am I discovering about myself as a practitioner and a human being?
· Restorative – regenerates inner resources: What would help me stay grounded and well in this work?
One Question. Three Pathways.
In one of my supervision sessions, the coach I was working with paused for a few moments and then said, with a barely perceptible hesitation:
“I feel like something inside me is at odds. One part of me is at peace with the professional path I’ve followed so far, and another doesn’t feel okay at all with what I’m experiencing in this new collaboration.”
So I asked:
“If there were two wolves within you - one proud of your professional growth, and one uneasy about this new collaboration - what would each of them say?”
There was a long pause. Then the coach replied:
“The wolf that’s proud of me is calm – it has seen that I’ve grown, that I’ve learned, that I am truly there for my clients. But the other one is restless. It doesn’t like what’s happening now. It senses that something isn’t right.”
That reflection opened three paths of exploration:
· Normative – The “restless wolf” flagged that she had accepted conditions misaligned with professional ethics: unclear contracting, role confusion, blurred boundaries.
· Formative – She became aware of a pattern of over-involvement: the tendency to do too much for the client at the expense of a balanced relationship. It was as if the protective wolf had taken over and forgotten when to stop.
· Restorative – She recognized that she was exhausted. She needed the caring wolf to turn toward her - to offer space, rest, and a return to self.
That one simple question opened a gateway to all three dimensions.
And supervision became that living space which, like the return of the wolves to Yellowstone, didn’t just shift one piece - but reactivated the entire inner ecosystem.
For these dimensions to truly come alive in a session, the supervisor needs certain anchors of presence – behaviors that create and sustain the living space of the process.
The 7 Core Behaviors of the Supervisor – In the Spirit of the Wolf Pack
In a pack, leadership isn’t about control, but coherence. It isn’t imposed - it is earned. It’s not about who walks in front, but about how we stay together.
So too with the supervisor. They don’t dominate the space, but hold it. They don’t offer answers, but catalyse them through questions.
For each behavior, I’ve included:
♦ one question for the supervisor (to foster presence and discernment)
● and one for the coach (to open the space for reflection)
1. Connects Authentically with Self
The wolf connects with itself and with the forest as it walks the path.
The supervisor continuously attunes to self and to the space being held.
♦ How do I notice myself feeling as I listen?
● What stirred within you as you shared this?
2. Engages with Care and Compassion
The wolf protects its pups - not from weakness, but from loyalty to life.
The supervisor creates a safe space where care and compassion support deep reflection.
♦ How can I stay open and gentle in this space?
● Where do you feel the need for more compassion in what you’re living now?
3. Honors the Intent of the Meeting
The wolf has a direction and knows how to return to it when the pack strays.
The supervisor keeps the session’s intent alive and returns to the initial contract - or renegotiates it - whenever needed.
♦ What am I truly supporting with this question: my agenda or the client’s?
● What’s important for you to bring into this supervision space today?
4. Creates and Sustains a Safe Container
The wolf draws clear boundaries around the pack but leaves space for movement and adaptation.
The supervisor supports healthy limits, while allowing room for authentic exploration.
♦ What arises in me when uncertainty or tension appears?
● Where do you find it hard to stay in contact with what’s emerging?
5. Brings to Light What Calls for Attention
The wolf sniffs the wind, listens to the silence, senses changes in the air.
The supervisor notices subtleties - pauses, hesitations, gestures - and invites clarity.
♦ What seems to call for attention, but hasn’t yet been spoken?
● What important part of this situation are you keeping in the shadows?
6. Dares to Name What Is
The wolf communicates through clear, firm gestures - not to dominate, but to preserve the pack’s cohesion.
The supervisor has the courage to name what is present or missing - not to judge, but to support relational coherence: a space where honesty, trust, and clear boundaries can coexist.
♦ What is present here that I haven’t yet dared to name?
● What do you notice is hard to say out loud in this situation?
7. Cares for the Whole: Relationship, Person, Context
Wolves move strategically: the vulnerable go at the front, and the leaders stay at the back to ensure no one is left behind. They are loyal to lifelong partnerships and faithful to the pack.
The supervisor, likewise, holds the partnership and sees the whole: the relationship, the person, the system, and the context.
♦ What is shaping what’s happening here and now - beyond what’s visible?
● Who or what do you feel is influencing how you’re handling this situation?
In Closing
When wolves returned to Yellowstone, they reactivated rivers.
When you return to yourself - with presence and meaning - you create that same effect in your work. Something realigns. It flows again. In depth.
And the presence of the supervisor - attentive, courageous, lucid - is what makes that journey possible.
A journey that yes, you walk. But not alone. With a professional by your side.
Resources
Documentary: How Wolves Change Rivers (George Monbiot)
Framework: Seven Simple Rules for Coaching Supervision, Jo Birch & L.J.N. Gardiner (2021)
Note:
A shorter version of this article was published in September, 2025 on ICF Romania blog.
